Through no fault or blessing of our own orchestration we have somehow arrived at today with confusion. What of today is mysterious? It remains overwhelming and unplanned. For that, we show fear. For that we grit our teeth and hide. As if it were less unplanned than the day we were born. Less out of our control than the day we met. How contrived is the existence of privilege! How much we’ve learned to demand the unrealistic from life and receive. What is preparation anyway, if not faith followed by the planning of humans? My intimidation is apparent. The flailings of a drowning body have no concept of homicide – those that get pulled down in a quest for self-salvation. This is how justify the pains we cause each other. But what of tomorrow when we have the knowledge of today’s ignorance? Maybe our reaction hints that we’re undeserving. Our expectations are so high. I want to be happy on the ground. I want to be grounded, with a new bottom line. I am tired of running from love.