Giving Birth to my Vision Board

IMG_2545The first time I ever heard about a vision board, I was in a restaurant in Melville, Johannesburg with my friend Michelle. We were talking about all of the things we wanted for our businesses and our plans for the coming year. She had been working on an online consignment shop concept for many years but hadn’t yet brought it to market. And me, well, I have a million little hustles going at any one time and often no sleep and no quality time with my husband to show for it. She mentioned all the things she has on her vision board and how they’ve helped her focus. I immediately laughed at her and thought she was a quack. Dinner continued and developed into a night of NYC inspired debauchery and life went on…

Fast forward to last month. I was in the US and Europe traveling for a while to recharge my battery and reconnect with family. During these long plane rides and alone time while everyone is at work, I usually have time to refresh my goals. I get inspired by remembering all the things and people who made me.

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The FLY Coach (PHOTO CREDIT: YASMEEN ANDERSON PHOTOGRAPHY)

So, I started reading blogs by the FLY Coach and Christine Kane on visualizing success and they brought me back to that table in Melville a few months ago. My quack of a friend didn’t really explain herself very well when she dropped the vision board reference in passing. After doing my own reading, I totally saw the logic. For years I have had annual lists of projected accomplishments. In short, they were glorified to-do lists. They required minimal revision throughout the year and usually 90% of the list was completed by year’s end. Success! But, recently I’ve drifted away from the validation of accomplishments and focused on the long-term. You can’t really put, “Be a better person” on a to do list and be empowered to go out and achieve it. This vision board, though, really fills in the gaps.

The logic here is that you use images of what makes you happy, fulfilled, accomplished and loved to create a board to remind you to go after that vision of your future. Not everyone’s idea of “be rich,” for example, look alike. So, you’re tasked to be specific: create a collage of pictures that match how you want to feel and that look exactly like what you want for yourself. Interesting things emerge.

I found that things I expected to have on my vision board weren’t what eventually made the cut.  In fact, I was looking for someone rolling around in a pile of money, but that picture never came up in my stack of Latina, Bona, Real Simple and House & Leisure mags. I also expected to have something about travel, airplanes or globe-trotting crop up. Ditto – there isn’t so much as a beach image with a mai tai or a paper plane heading towards palm trees.

P1070335Looking at my board with fresh eyes this morning, there are a few things that even I am shocked by. First, I used glue. I hear that many people like to use push pins or something that isn’t as permanent. Rather than having to scrap the whole board or paste over it, they like to switch out images as they no longer become relevant. Maybe it was just a beginner’s boo boo, but I also think maybe the glue shows both how committed I am to these concepts and how much I think each piece is integral to all the others. Second, there are 6 children on my board. We agreed on 5! But somehow on the family side of my board there’s an extra body. I intended to add the very last one to the work side of my board, but the kid with the Kindle ended up with the other babies. Good thing we’re ok with adopting.

Third, the work side of my board is racially mixed; the family side of my board isn’t. I suppose that’s just my reality, but it’s very telling. Proximity doesn’t mean integration and rather than fighting that, I’m happy to embrace the fact that I will produce healthy, intelligent Black children raised in a loving, successful, two parent household. So few kids have this in the world and I’m committed to this vision for my own. Fourth, all the images of a de-cluttered home were supposed to be paired with the words for the cities where I want to buy new property. Instead they’re in a section between work and family that’s labeled “Sleep.” The images are actually of a bed and pillows. Subliminal much? Last, when it comes to work, my vision board doesn’t include anything about my PhD, my day job, or even my multiple side businesses. It focuses on being a writer. All in all, I knocked my own socks off with this vision board. I’ve drilled down to the most important and most essential images that reflect what I want to be my future. I’m a believer and I’ve just begun to use it this morning!

I’m not sure what vision board sharing etiquette is, but I’m beginning to think that it’s supposed to be a sacred secret. My friends who have them refer to them vaguely in Facebook posts, but never really tell us what they’re after. I think you’re supposed to keep it in a place where you see it everyday, but I’m not sure what that means for your family who have to walk past your future every single day of their lives. I don’t quite know if you can share it after you’re no longer using it or if that jinxes it somehow. I’m still new to this. But, I’m proud of what I’ve compiled and I had to share the journey with people who would appreciate it. Maybe now, I sound like a quack too or maybe you’ve had one for years and this is letting you revisit what you already know. But, if you’re also green on vision boards, I hope you’ll give it a try. I found that my vision for my future doesn’t match the words I use in my daily life. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, so long as I have some way to stay grounded and remind myself of what success, love, and ‘a life in full’ really mean to me. My vision board’s got my back!

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Cheers to my freakin’ weekend (in fotos)!

I had the craziest weekend in South Africa, so I figured I’d take crappy phone pics and try to retell the happenings…

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Friday afternoon I arrive at my hotel in Jo’burg and they’re shooting a movie next door. You can’t see it but the set is staged to look like a street scene in China.

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Each floor in the hotel imparts some wisdom about a famous South African cultural icon. This floor? Writer, Lionel Abrahams.

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Ground floor? The novelist, Phaswane Mpe, who died at the tender age of 34.

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I try to check out an artsy bookstore near my hotel. It says it is open til 4pm. I get there are 3:15. No, it is (not). But it looks cool from the outside.

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I settle in for a bunnychow at R. Janas. Good decision: http://www.braamfontein.org.za/directory/view/r-janas

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I think maybe I should just stay in and sleep early. I turn on the TV and the artist formerly known as Prince beckons me out.

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FB soon reveals to my surprise that my girl Emme from NYC is in Jozi. We link for drinks, but it quickly turns into a 5am night between the Bannister & the Kitchener in Braamfontein.

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We gnom McDonalds and have the night guard get us wine. I crash at 6am…. trying to act my age, not my shoe size is starting to hurt.

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I wake up… over hung… at 8am for a 9am seminar.

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I invest in a big ass cup of coffee from Motherland Coffee.

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This campus has thought of everything. I feel like I benefited from the caution of drivers… b/c I couldn’t see anything straight. Hangovers hurt.

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As the day progresses, I sober up. My hair stops smelling like an ash tray and I get to enjoy JG Strijdom Tower from afar.

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The seminar ends and I go design store shopping.

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I take in the town before night falls.

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I end up in Melville’s hotspot Lucky Bean for an extended dinner with Jozi based friends and Emme.

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Sunday morning I decide to try to catch the Gautrain to the airport, so I can spare myself the cab fare. But the connections are too far apart and I end up in a cab anyway in a mad dash to NOT miss my flight.         

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I manage to make it to O.R. Tambo airport exactly one hour before my flight only to find that it has been delayed by 30 minutes. I have breakfast at an airport pub and it feels good.

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One whole hour later, I land. My bags arrive safely and I’m excited to see Durbz again.

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Hotel check in and my weekend is officially over.