Inception

There are days when Asa wakes up and feels the sun on her face and the dusty breeze through her braids and forgets – for just a moment – that she’s living in Mumbai.  It’s not an easy thing for me to forget.  Living in Mumbai always means that there is a taste of sea salt and street grit in every bite of life.  Waking up with a craving for puri or a frankie from Colaba is often a reminder that gently nudges me awake in the morning.  Today, for a minute though, she was in that place of half sleep where she could see a vision of her brother and her cousin Trey on the steps of the house on Eastern Parkway.  It was just a glimpse of their profiles, from an odd, non-existent angle.  She swept by on her way to first Fridays and only glanced back at their faces before beginning her spritely stroll to her fictitious evening of acculturated fun.  It was balmy that night in her dream, like any other real summer night in Brooklyn.  Balmy is the perfect way to describe every day in Bombay.  The resemblance clings.

She is here working at an NGO that helps women from battered and abused situations.  Battered and abused often is a synonym for sexually abused and devastated.  Yet for the sake of propriety, some semblance of dignity in not knowing what everybody knows, we’ll say battered.  Some were married off to boys who took the dowry, banged the bride, and auctioned her off in Kamathipura on his way out of dodge.  These things happen, people say, and Asa thinks she could help.  Working at Safe Horizon had given her some sense of this purpose when she was home.  She has always longed to fulfill this feeling of actually helping someone become someone.  Not a new someone, not like the witness protection program, but someone actually worth a second chance at life.  “Someone who was genuinely a victim,” she’d justify to herself on those lonely sleepless nights in Khar West.

It’s a credo that expats like us understand.  Picking up and moving to the other side of the world to be someone new is something we understand.  Asa has a gift for explaining this to the Sangeetas and the Shivalis of the interiors of Maharastra and Bihar who somehow find themselves washed out on a filthy mattress on the floor of a hovel.  It’s like a nightmare out of Shantaram until Asa (and Kavita, the translator) comes along to go door to door asking if there are underage women there – working – who don’t want to be there – working.  She does the grunt work.  Her black conveys trust to their brown, when my white seems to convey pity.  Both are unintentional.

This started as an internship.  Actually, she was hoping to score something full-time at home, but the economy just isn’t booming like it used to.  Being a social worker at a community based organization really isn’t the best come up for a Binghamton grad, but native New Yorkers do have that on the rest of us.  They can afford to wait out the city, see what comes up, see if something sparks.  They have no fear of late rental fees and peanut butter sandwiches for dinner.  She worked at Safe Horizon for about 4 years and had only recently learned about the safe houses in the Bronx.  But nothing really came together for her as well as it did for the women she considered clients.  It felt so incongruent to see them rebuild their lives and for her to feel so stuck – financially, sure.  There’s also the fact that at 27 she couldn’t pretend that living at home was just a temporary state. I’m not sure how she came to find the job, but she came to town with just one bag and that was a year ago.

When I left the apartment this morning, she was just blinking awake and the sunlight was peaking through the curtains on the sea-facing window near her bed.  The fan was on low and her hair blocked only half her face from the sun.  She rubbed her exposed eyelid with the back of her hand like an infant whose immature vision only allowed the sight of fuzzy shapes.  She looked a bit lost in time and space, for just an instant, but she’ll soon be herself again.  She’s got to renew the lease with the Gangulis and buy a new lamp at Fab India today.  She’ll wake up soon and snap back into the Bombay she’s made for herself.  She’ll see the Sealink and remember that she’s got a big day ahead, and she’ll be glad she came – just for an instant.

I, on the other hand, will be glad all day long – until I come home for lunch to see her breeze past me to hustle out the door.  Braids in a bun, jeans under a kurti, she’s ready to face the hardest, oldest, baddest, whores, sluts, and prostitutes of Asia.  When she turns to look back at me over her left shoulder, she’s got a kulcha hanging between her teeth and her keys in her left hand.  The bread muzzles her words, so she speaks more with her chestnut eyes than her mouth. “See you later. Dinner, ok?” I nod, “sure,” but I’m lost in thought.

I’m struck by how busy she’s become being Bombay’s Michelle Pfeiffer or, better yet, the red light district’s Mother Theresa.  A year ago, she was just Asa James, a girl from Brooklyn, running away from Brooklyn.  Today, she isn’t that same person.  I couldn’t tell you who she is exactly, but she’s not that.  Come to think of it, she couldn’t tell you either. That much I know for sure.  She has no clue anymore.

Sleep with Confidence

Jodhpur - Water Habitat Retreat View

When I was in Jodhpur last month, I ended up staying in a resort hotel that just so happened to have a last-minute room available.  I tried to book at the Taj and the Oberoi, and I even tried a local Haveli.  But they were booked up and my flights were already paid for, so I had to scrounge up something and fast! So with little more than the promise of a clean bed and a good ranking on http://www.tripadvisor.com, I reserved a 3 night stay in the Water Habitat Retreat. And whoa, what a treat! This got me thinking about some of my most pleasant, surprise room stays around the world. When you travel, your room is your castle. Here are just four unsung heroes I recommend with confidence:

As the NGO expansion of a Maharaja’s summer home, the Water Habitat Retreat is a 28 room boutique hotel that offers vistas from Jodhpur’s Marwar desert.  Just about 20 minutes from the city center, this hotel is truly an oasis of stunning man-made lakes, hill-top temples, and quiet serenity. The rooms do not have TVs, but I was given a USB MBlaze to get internet reception free of charge.  What’s the catch? Well, the hotel is built aside a water catchment plant and reservoir.  The Aravalli hills are known for desert and drought, but in this NGO run hotel 70% of the hotel booking costs go directly to water harvesting. So, this nice hideaway also doubles as an opportunity for philanthropy. Hard to top that.

When a friend came to India shortly after I first arrived, we scrambled to find a hotel in Goa. We combed http://www.tripadvisor.com for a reasonably priced guesthouse near Candolim or Sinquerim beach. We tried to book to the #1 ranked Bougainvillea Goa, but they were full. They offered a room in their sister guest house just a 3 minute walk away. For $30 USD a night, we booked at Victoria Village Guest House. The room was clean and the owners were very sweet. The wife came to the door carrying her pudgy cheeked doll of a daughter and the husband told us about his sister’s restaurant down the road – which was not a tourist trap! Just a five-minute walk away from the Fort Aguada Taj hotel, I can’t imagine why anyone would choose NOT to stay at Victoria Village.

Not all surprises are cheap. And in San Francisco, you can bet that any good surprise costs a premium. But, a few years back I booked 3 nights at the Orchard Hotel and never once regretted it. I especially appreciated it when I got so sick that I couldn’t leave the hotel on the night before I was set to depart. I still remember the fish stew I ordered from room service, and I have yet to try fish stew that competes. The cleaning crew came multiple times a day and only when they knew we were out of the hotel – so no annoying knocks in the morning. Well worth the spend, if I’m ever back in San Fran I’ll be trying to relive my fish stew dream.

Germany Valley

One of my very favorite places in all of the U.S. is Germany Valley, West Virginia. Trying to unplug from Washington, D.C. life, I searched for a fall foliage locale that wouldn’t break the bank. While once on a stay in the Appalachian-Cabins in Seneca Rocks, I drove a ways and discovered the Germany Valley cabins. I decided that the next year, I would have to come back and stay in one. I had to book almost a year in advance to ensure I had an October weekend, but it was well worth it. Some of my fondest memories with my best friends and their kids were had right there in those hills. These cabins are a hidden gem, well worth the 5 hour drive from DC.

Here are a few other lodging options worth checking out:

Jaipur, India

New Delhi, India

Udaipur, India

Bangkok, Thailand

Chiang Mai, Thailand